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st_AH_burst
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Name: Christi
Country: United States
State: California
Metro: San Francisco
Gender: Female
Interests: boogers, earwax and toejam. yum.
Expertise: avid concertgoing, music snobbery, and people bashing. btw those pants make you look fat.
Occupation: Teacher
Industry: Education
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
6/2/2004
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SubscriptionsSites I Read
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| Just b/c I wanted to see what would come up..
The Rules:
1. Put Your mp3 player or iPod on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write down the name of the song no matter how silly it sounds!
4. Put any comments/lyrics in brackets after the song name.
5. Tag at least 10 friends, plus the person who tagged you.
1. What do your friends think of you?
"Eyes Shut" -Synthar
Ouch. btw, Synthar is my friend's band. You should totally check them out at http://www.myspace.com/synthar
2. If someone says, “Are you okay?” You say...
"Hanginaround" - Counting Crows
That's pretty accurate.
3. How would you describe yourself?
"Cross-Eyed Bear" -Damien Rice
HAHAHHAHA
4. What do you like in a {significant other}?
"On Fire" -Switchfoot
Totally. En fuego!
5. How do you feel today?
"Stairway to Heaven" -Led Zeppelin
Yipes. What's with today, today?
6. What is your life’s purpose?
"My Last Breath" -Evanescence
I think iTunes is telling me I'm emo.. the rumors have been confirmed.
7. What is your motto?
"The Answer" -Shane&Shane
I'm glad it wasn't another emo response. "I have found the answer is to love You and to be loved by You alone." Deep.
8. What do you think about very often?
"Bathwater" -No Doubt
Huh.. "I still love to wash in your old bath water/ you make me feel like I couldn't love another/ I can't help it, you're my kind of man"
9. What is 2 + 2?
"Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee" -Charlie Hall
Sure.
10. What do you think of your best friends?
"Track 03" -Wang LeeHom
I wish I could tell you what this song means, or even what the title is. But that's all I know about it!
11. What do you think of the person you like?
"Tiny Dancer" -Ben Folds
Aww that's cute.
12. What is your life story?
"The Real Jesus" -Downhere
"Oh can anybody show me the real Jesus?" Spot on.
13. What do you want to be when you grow up?
"Tell Her Tonight" -Franz Ferdinand
A lesbian?
14. What will you dance to at your wedding?
"A Better Way" -Downhere
Hrm.. actually it's pretty. "I love you could not be said a better way."
15. What will they play at your funeral?
"Cryin'" -Aerosmith
Yessssss.
16. What is your hobby/interest?
"Elevation" -U2
The pharmaceutical kind? I kid I kid..
17. What is your biggest fear?
"You're Everything" -David Crowder Band
Fear God?
18. What is your biggest secret?
"Someone to Call My Lover" -Janet Jackson
.That's no secret!
19. What do you think of your friends?
"Solid Rock" -Deliriou5?
Do I really think that highly of you losers? ;)
20. What will you post this as?
"Iris (Acoustic)" -Goo Goo Dolls
Boring. Anticlimactic. Boo.
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| First 10 songs that come up on random on my iTunes. No cheating.
1. Sade - By Your Side
2. David Bowie - Star
3. Jimmy Eat World - Cautioners
4. The Cure - Like Cockatoos
5. Dashboard Confessional - Standard Lines
6. Christi Chew - The Blower's Daughter (HAHAHAHAHAHA)
7. 'NSYNC - It's Gonna Be Me
8. Wang Leehom - Zai Na Yao Yuan De Di Fang
9. Matchbox 20 - If You're Gone
10. Jimmy Eat World - Gotta Be Somebody's Blues
I got the idea from David Crowder's xanga.
I think it's unproportionate in it's lack of Coldplay and U2, which make up 15.8 hours of music. But I guess it's statistically sound because there are 10.1 days worth of music on my computer. YOU should do the same. It's a fun game, I swear.
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| 35The next day John was there again with two of his disciples. 36When he saw Jesus passing by, he said, "Look, the Lamb of God!"
37When the two disciples heard him say this, they followed Jesus. 38Turning around, Jesus saw them following and asked, "What do you want?"
They said, "Rabbi" (which means Teacher), "where are you staying?"
39"Come," he replied, "and you will see."
John 1:35-39 (NIV)
I've been thinking about this all the wrong way. My happiness is wrapped up in who's around me. I yearn to be with people who know me, with those who are past the stage of figuring out who I am and who see more than just Christi the Teacher. Which is why being home in Maryland seems so appealing.. but in the end, who's to say I would be happier at home? The reasons I left are the very same reasons that I long to be home. Before I was tired of Maryland because I knew exactly who I'd be hanging out with and what we'd be doing.. now I wish I were there because I know exactly who I'd be hanging out with and what we'd be doing.
But the thing is.. is that the disciples, in all their imperfections and all their blunders, were onto something here. They finally found Jesus, the one that they had been looking for. He asked them what they wanted, what they were seeking, and even though they could have asked for anything in the world (what should I be doing? Where should I go? What's my purpose in life?) all they asked for was to be with Him. And He gave them exactly what they asked for.
I long for a place where I can feel like I belong, for somewhere where I fit.. where really, the only place I'll truly fit is with God. Wherever God is, that's where I belong. So no, the solution is not running back home. Not that God would think any less of me if I did, but that would only solve the symptoms and not the deeper problem. My whole life I've always had a sense of where I was supposed to be.. whether it was in Maryland, Davis, Hong Kong, or California.. but now when I'm faced for the first time with not knowing where I should be, my instinct is to run home where it's safe. It may be safe, but it won't make me whole. So maybe, just maybe I'll stick around in San Francisco for a little longer and learn something about longing to be with God, wherever He might be.
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| I've been thinking a lot lately.. well, that's what I do. When you live in a new city with a new job that doesn't allow for oodles of free time to be making friends, you spend time thinking. Evaluating. Especially after the holidays. Coming off of 2+ weeks at home in Maryland with friends and family, homesickness in this god-forsaken city hit me like a sack of bricks. And I began to think, to really try and evaluate.. if I'm cut out for this life. And by this life I mean.. working at a job that simultaneously is thankless and essential to the well-being of our futures while living 3000 miles away from the people who mean the most in the world to me.
Recently, during a late night breakdown over the phone in tears session with my parents, my dad said something profound. He said that God wants me to be happy. God is pleased when we do what he calls us to do, but he also wants us to be happy. Which begs the question.. does he want us to be happy in the sense of being content with our lives and full of love and comfort from those around us, or happy in the sense that we only experience true joy when we are doing what we're really called to do and our soul and purpose for life resonates within us? Are they always mutually exclusive? Do you have to be miserable to follow God?
Then, during a Bible study, the question was asked.. "what does it mean to be called a child of God?" And I immediately thought of what it meant to be a child of my earthly father. My dad hates to see me sad, loves to hold me close, and would buy me a present every day if he could if he knew it would make me happy. He always tries to protect me in every way possible, and I know it kills him to hear that I'm lonely and missing home. So I wonder.. how much more so does it break God's heart to see his children sad? I know we weren't called to a life of sunshine and rainbows, but I find it hard to believe that God would be pleased with us if we all did what we were called for but experienced no real joy in it.
I forget to see God as my protective father. God as my comfort. God as my joy-giver. I think I've only been seeing him as the one who calls me to do his hard work, forgetting that while I do his work he promises to provide. After all, Jesus's first miracle was about bringing life to the party by turning water into wine. Sometimes I feel like the servants at the wedding, lugging 20 gallon jugs of water to the banquet with no clue of whether it'd all be for naught when the steward pours a glass of water when he's expecting wine. I have no way of knowing if my kids will be water or wine, but I keep drawing the water up from the well anyways because Mary said to do whatever he tells me.
Alright, I admit I'm not sure where this post is going. Just a few ramblings in my head. Considering where I'm supposed to be one, two, five, twenty years down the line. Wondering who I'm going to be. (And I'm not gonna lie.. who I'm going to be with). Faith is a tricky thing. Sometimes it's diving headfirst into the unknown, and sometimes its sitting and waiting. I guess I'm kind of doing both at the same time.
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